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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24707878">To be lonely</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/joelhammonds/pseuds/joelhammonds'>joelhammonds</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Community (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Angst, Drunken Confessions, Other, Reminiscing, Sad little Jeff, Sadness, britta perry - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:46:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,183</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24707878</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/joelhammonds/pseuds/joelhammonds</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Annie and Abed leave, Jeff can’t hold his feelings in any longer. Because who is Jeff Winger without his friends?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To be lonely</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A short little sad Jeff one-shot as i have been making myself sad over the Finale.</p><p>This is for my friend Charlie who inspired me to write this mess of a drabble.</p><p> </p><p>Follow me on Twitter for Jeff content: @densreynolds</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The moment that Jeff watched two of his best friends walk towards the airport, he felt his fragile heart begin to ache. He knew this feeling would arise, ever since he accepted the fact that this was happening. Ever since he accepted the fact that someone else was leaving him.  This feeling wasn’t rare, he was always having people up and leave, sometimes it would keep him up at night. He would lay awake for hours on end wondering if it was him, if he was the reason why all his friends left, why his dad left. </p><p>The drive back to Britta’s bar was long and the silence was painful, he couldn’t even bring himself to turn the radio on. The rain was pouring and he could hear the raindrops pound against the roof of the car. Jeff smiled to himself sadly, the rain was fitting given the situation he was in right now.  </p><p>Parking his car outside the bar, he paints a smile on his face. He says to himself “Come on Jeff, don’t let them see this side of you”, it’s enough for now. As he walks through the door he sees his friends, they’re all laughing and smiling. It’s almost like its not affecting them its almost like they didn’t have anything to feel bad about whereas Jeff did. Jeff felt like this was all his fault, like they left because he wasn’t good enough. He’s never been good enough. </p><p>“Did they get off okay?” Britta asks, placing Jeff’s glass of scotch down in front of him. He smiles fakely at her and nods, “Yep, they said they’d text when they land” he says before taking a rather large sip of his drink, finishing it all in one go.</p><p>Britta gives him a stern look but doesn’t comment on it, she knows Jeff and she knows that he’s taking this harder than anyone else. </p><p>As the night goes on Jeff drinks more and more. The others leave one by one. It’s just him and Britta now, he’s slurring his words and his heads all over the place. He’s fucking sad and he wants his friends back. He wants them all back. Annie, Abed, Troy, Shirley, Hell he even wanted pierce back. He wasn’t good enough without them. He will never be good enough. </p><p>He lays his head down on the bar, he’s so fucking wasted now. He can’t even think straight and he just wants to go home, to his bed where he could be himself and the world couldn’t judge him for who he was. </p><p>“Come on you, hometime” Britta says, its 3am and they’re the only ones left in the bar. Jeff groans and shakes his head, “Want more drinks” He slurs and Britta scoffs, “No way, i’m driving you home right now Winger” She says folding her arms and Jeff isn’t looking at her but there’s a look on her face that the others would laugh at for sure. . </p><p>“Fine” he groans, standing up and rubbing his eyes, he tries to walk but his balance is non-existent at this point so he grabs onto the bar for support, Britta then wrapping one arm around his waist and helping him up as they walk out of the bar. His eyes are closed and he’s resting his head on her shoulder unknowingly as they get to his car. She opens the door and helps him in before he sinks back and closes his eyes. She looks at him for a moment and smiles sadly, god he was so broken. </p><p>Jeff had always been so shut off with his feelings, he would never dream of telling anyone how he really felt, underneath his god complex and his cool hair and clothes. He would never tell anyone how unhappy he really was. He’d always been the glue holding the group together, the one who knew the right thing to say, the one who fixed everything. But who was gonna fix Jeff? Who was gonna mend his broken heart? </p><p>Britta begins to drive and Jeff opens his eyes, looking out the window. </p><p>“Why does everyone leave me” he says, his voice is almost a whisper. He sounds so sad. </p><p>“What do you mean Jeff?” Britta replies, not taking her eyes off the road. She frowns to herself, she had a feeling this was coming. </p><p>“Everyone leaves, no one stays” He says, you can hear his voice start to break. The lump in his throat getting bigger and bigger with every word he says. “Why does no one wanna stay with me?” </p><p>He looks at her and she turns to look at him too. There are tears in his eyes, they’re pretty when they’re like this. “That’s not true” she tells him, what else can she say. </p><p>“It is, look around Britta. I’m all alone.”</p><p>She turns back to the road, they’re both silent now. She can tell he’s crying, he probably doesn’t even realise it but he is. She never knew he felt like this, she never knew he felt so alone.</p><p>It’s not long until they reach Jeff’s apartment and Britta helps him out of the car, guiding him inside. He can't bare to look her in the eye, he feels ashamed. Ashamed that he’s just opened up. He shouldn’t feel like it but he does, he’s not used to being honest to himself let alone other people when it comes to the way he’s feeling. </p><p>“Here we are” she says, opening his door for him and Jeff walks straight in. Making his way to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of scotch before slumping down on the couch. Britta’s at the door, giving him that look of concern he’s seen when he went to therapy as a kid. </p><p>“What are you doing Jeff, you need sleep” she says, taking a seat beside him. He just scoffs, taking a sip from the bottle. “I need more scotch” he snaps back. </p><p>She grabs the bottle out of his hand and places it on the table. “No more” She says, looking him in the eyes. He’s staring right back and theres something about the way she’s looking at him. The concern in her eyes says it all. </p><p>Jeff’s eyes begin to water again before he lets out a choked sob, “I want them to come back Britta, I need them” He cries, She pulls him into her arms, leaning him against her chest as she holds him tight.</p><p>“I miss them so much” He chokes out, shaking in her arms. The sobs taking over his body. “I know” she sighs, lightly stroking his hair. “I know”</p><p>“It’s gonna be okay Jeff, you’re gonna be okay” she whispers and he pulls back. The tears still streaming from his eyes. “Promise me,  promise you’ll never leave me” he whispers in return, there’s so much hope in his eyes despite his voice being filled with pain. </p><p>“I promise” She says, and with that he falls back into her arms, crying once more and for once Jeff Winger felt safe. </p><p>Oh how he wished that feeling was permanent</p>
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